Living alongside me
There is a place –
Enveloped in dark vines,
Tangled, twisted and thick
When I breathe;
It lives and occupies
Follow close behind;
Bleak, steel grey –
The places I consider my favorites share their daily lives with a darkness I can’t really define. Those dark corners aren’t going anywhere; my brightness has learned to coexist with them, and acceptance has replaced complete despair.
Here is a list of my brightest and most necessary “can’t-live-withouts”:
1) Family & my sweet, little pets (some not so “little”)
2) “Rescues”: triptans, couch (with hard arms to lay my neck over – this helps numb the nerves in my neck , providing some relief), hot bathtub
3) Sleep / Activity: Sleep is a must-have (I don’t do well unless I sleep at least 8 or 9 hours; the migraines will let me know…); activity, moving, getting out to hike & bike riding (more “must-haves” – I feel alive again when I can move, and happy-contentedness is sure to follow!)
4) Music/Daydreaming/Escape: This is an “original”, and part of my earliest habits/memories – necessary.
5) Books/Reading/Words – Should be considered a sub-category of the above.
6) History/Exploring/Learning – Also a sub-category of #4
7) Paranormal/Ghost hunting/Astrology/Why-we’re-here
8) Hiking & exploring the outdoors, historical places – also necessary
9) Movies – Great movies & interesting docs
10) Rummage sales/Flea markets/Ebay – can’t let a great deal go by!!
These necessary’s and must-haves share space with the darker parts. I think everyone has a similar cohabitation going on somewhere behind the scenes, but I do believe it’s amplified in those of us suffering with a chronic illness. The needs & wants of ordinary life become more important, more vital in the face of continuing suffering; looking forward to these little decadencies becomes the hope of every new day: