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Into the Light HAWMC #12 (April, 2012)

April 12, 2012 by paula Leave a Comment

********* Stream of Consciousness Day  ************

Ok, here goes – introducing the “me” version of my venture into blog challenges!! It’s hard for me to avoid a final edit, but it is here: raw me -scary!! Most of my mornings usually start with me attempting to get it together: either recovering from; planning around; or cautiously/gratefully wondering how I ended up so blessed so as not to have a headache (or some other migraine-related symptom). So, I guess this is my attempt to critique my writing below with a mild,opening disclaimer (of boring repetition – be careful)!! Read at your own risk…

This morning I looked in the mirror…

and thought about how old I look. I always do this, the same as I always get up, go to the bathroom to get dressed, then proceed to feed my animals (3 house kitties and a house-doggy). They are my friends – I don’t mind getting up in the morning to feed them – they are also my socialites!

After I decide that I do look old, my mind immediately goes to, “So what, all that matters is what you feel like; everybody gets old – these are like battle scars and you have a right to have them, and you can work around this”. I think my brain does this as an automatic acceptance – although I had to work on getting over the age thing for at first, eventually, it became automatic – my subconscious just takes over and the feelings of “it” being OK (old age looking as a trade off for just being happy & well) emerge on their own.

 After these thoughts, I start to think about how my head – and the rest of me – will feel today. This is also a daily ritual. I had in my mind what I wanted to do – which I immediately did after feeding my buddies. I then had toast (I start out with a “quickie” snack before breakfast  – I like to start with a fizzy pop and a cookie or snack before breakfast – I know, but you wanted to know this stuff – horrible grammer, huh?) and started to simultaneously think about what I would be writing, plus wondering if my headache was going to get to the level of being treated or not. I’ve had a lot of migraines lately but I have made it 3 or 4 days. I was the sickest I’ve been in a while on Easter Sunday – having a severe migraine all day and into the next night. I took three triptans, but no relief. If I wait too long, this is what happens. I had another one Monday, but I’ve actually made it since then without taking a triptan – a big deal when I’ve previously been “on a roll”. I can go almost a month straight, having a headache almost every day, but then the migraines will finally break (almost surely due to hormones), and I may go three weeks with no discernable migraine (I don’t count it as a headache day unless I have to take a triptan) and no need to take any other med – heaven!  I always think those days will last forever…   15 minutes – time’s up!!

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Joy

…We are all born with it–Joy. We exude enough of it as children to fill all the adult hearts in any room. We’ve no need to be taught how to smile on a sunny Saturday morning, dance in muddy spring puddles, delight as a butterfly alights on our noses. Joy is our birthright–our spiritual birthmark.

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