Lesson(s) I learned the hard way…
I hesitate to over state on this one, but mostly all necessary lessons learned by ME were hard; many times, extremely so. My “gifts” of perseverance, strength and persistent/resilient optimism have a less glamorous side, and that darker half is: stubbornness (i.e. “bullheadedness” , for clarity’s sake).
So, my darker side would like to present to you it’s take on the tougher side of learning the necessaries of life:
- My hard-won lesson of “what do I want to be when I grow up” is done and gone … for now. My migraines have become chronic in the last 8 to 10 years; this has left me with the stark realization that I should have attended/finished college during my, “healthier years” and gotten my career ‘in the bag’, so to speak. I attempted to go back three years ago; found I loved it; then discovered that my body/brain didn’t agree.
- Holding on tighter/Never giving up is not necessarily the best advice. Again, my stubbornness/perseverance used to be the first to show up at any and EVERY party. I believed that the best way to get and keep anything (people, ideas, “things”, sanity) was through mere and absolute force. As you can imagine, things didn’t always go the easiest for me during this period of my life…
These two lessons aren’t and won’t be the last of “things learned hard and possibly, wrong” for me. Although I’ve discovered – the hard way – that this is my learning style; my path; my cross to bear – I have no illusions that the hard lessons are over.
Hope, possibility, and brutal strength are lessons learned in the classroom of chronic illness. I am that student.