Migraine Awareness Month #24: “Dear Genie”
I “wish” I could say that my wish-list has remained intact over the years. I could just “copy & paste” all those details that my brain & emotions have saved on my mental timeline right to this page – so easy… But having a chronic condition of any kind seems to rearrange wish-lists, priorities, and even thoughts and feelings. My wishes, along with my mind and body, have had to evolve.
My wish-list -“now”:
- Good Health: I’ve always been a self-imposed health-nut, even as a child. Being vibrant and active (well, trying to be) keeps away all my demons (depression, bad health, feeling sorry for myself and/or feeling weak or “feeble” because of the way the Migraines make me feel). I wish, first and formost, that I can keep the good health that I do have. Part of this “good health” is praying for a positive end to my Migraine Disease FOR SURE, but not in place of the good that I already do have. I have a gratitude for my “good parts” that I never realized when younger.
- Mental/Emotional Clarity: My wishes to keep all the good that I do have extends to my mental state, too. I want to keep all the good that I enjoy – my hobbies, loves, dreams, desires and sanity (sometimes hard to hold onto when chronically ill)! Again, I want to keep all the good that I do have, but having even more great & positive mental attributes – without losing the good that I do have – would be a plus. It would be such a gift to be more outgoing, positive and happy.
- Family: I wish for my family as well as myself to be and have all the good they wish for. My wish is to always have their love, their happiness/safety and their presence.
- Safety: For me, my family, the world…
Now for the “juicy” parts:
- To be an accomplished, accepted and – happy/content – writer. I would love to have a viable, enjoyable, and succesful career as a writer.
- To take myself, my family and anything else I can think of to the home and place I’ve always dreamed of: A historical, colonial home (the older the better – 18th century) near the east coast (preferably Virginia) with access/ownership to plenty of woods, trails, supplies, the ocean, a river – and enough resources to sustain all of it and myself as well! Migraine Disease has stripped me of my ability to work and “lack of” has become a way of life at this time. My wish is to have enough resources (again, not in the place of all the good that I now have…) to allow my family and I to have the life that we’ve only dreamed of.
- Of course – THE CURE! My biggest wish, the grand-daddy of them all, is for a cure for Migraine Disease. This should be the first thing on my list – it really is so important. Without it, there is still fear, pain, suffering, “lack of”, stigma, and depression. Not much of a life can be lived in the face of such a chronic ball & chain like Migraine. But, I still list it last – I’m not sure why…
In some ways, and in many of my thoughts, it is first– I think about “the cure” a lot: I pray for it, look for it and hope for it every day. I suppose my instinct or my muse has become too “realistic” about my condition and this disease. I’ve learned to live around Migraine, plan around Migraine and be grateful in spite of Migraine for so long now that any effort to think of my life without Migraine seems fantastical and unrealistic. Sadly, this disease does define me now. It’s woven it’s complicated and life-altering web directly into my brain in more ways than just the obvious. I am and have become a Migraineur, whether I approve or not.
“National Migraine Awareness Month is initiated by the National Headache Foundation. The Blogger’s Challenge is initiated by www.FightingHeadacheDisorders.com “