Migraine Awareness Month #11: “Say What?!”
“What’s the most ridiculous thing ever said to you about Migraines – who said it and under what circumstances?”
Here they are (dumb!! questions), in all their GLORY:
- “Oh, do you have a headache today?” (Question asked by the neurologist as he walked into my darkened exam room, looking up at the turned-off flourescents as he commented.)
- “If you already have a headache almost every day, why don’t you just eat whatever you want in any amount- you’re going to get a headache anyway…right? I know I would! I’d eat anything, in ANY amount!“ (Asked by co worker after discussing my food triggers and escalating headaches with her. She raised her eyebrows and smirked as she looked at another fellow employee as she talked about ‘eating anything in ANY amount’.)
- “How can MIILKKKKK give you a headache????” (After explaining – trying – to a fellow employee that dairy triggers my Migraines.)
And now, the TOPPER to TOP them ALLLLL…
- “You can take as much or as little of the Lamictal as you feel you need to.” (While on the phone with “Headache Specialist’s” nursing assistant when I told her I wasn’t getting any better at the dose I was taking and didn’t know whether to “ramp up” the dose or stop taking the medicine. She would not let me speak to the doctor or relay the message to him. I was later dropped as a patient.) ****** Note: This “headache specialist” was definitely NOT one of the 290 in this country…
My “take” on all this:
I know that “someday” I’ll look back on these pitiful questions/comments with more forgiveness and more understanding that I have now. I can laugh a little, but I think it’s more of a sarcastic snicker than a true, “gut-buster”. Humor is not really part of the equation in this case.
I do try to forgive the people who truly just don’t understand. I was one of “them” before my Migraine Disease got so out-of-control, so I do owe them that. It’s never anyone’s fault if they’ve never been taught or shown just what this (or any other invisible disease) does and can do to us.
So for now, I’ll transform my frustration and hurt with these ridiculous questions to the power I know I’m capable of: getting the truth out. Migraine has primed me for this – and I’m ready to go…
“National Migraine Awareness Month is initiated by the National Headache Foundation. The Blogger’s Challenge is initiated by www.FightingHeadacheDisorders.com “
UGHHHHH On one hand I feel a bit smug knowing I’m smarter than the doctor. On the other, it’s a sad story often repeated on how ignorant people in general and doctors specifically are regarding Migraine Disease.
My first neuro wanted to up my dosage of topomax even though I was showing several signs of very bad side effects. He didn’t care that it was doing nothing for my headaches–he only wanted me to lose weight with it (!!!) My husband had the presence of mind to say no and help me get off it. I fired that neuro (and it felt great).
My second neuro gave up after a few meds (and she was supposedly a “Migraine specialist”) and basically told me to take rapid release tylenol and vitamins. I quit.
My new neuro has been awesome, though during a 30 day status migraine, had me go to a different ER than I was used to. I posted about it on my blog….my teenage daughter knew more about migraines than this asshat. I wouldn’t let this guy groom my dog.
I’m now looking into migraine surgery. I hope you find relief.
Thank you so much; I really appreciate your words. I haven’t found a good doc yet, and I’ve had to take a little hiatus to restore both my sanity and piece of mind. (My latest foray into the world of neuros involved one hardly even looking up from his laptop, then prescribing two meds that I asked not to be given – one I’m allergic to, the other didn’t work at all on two different occasions. He also prescribed Neurontin for my migraines, saying it would get rid of the pain and to take it instead of the triptans. I explained that I can sometimes go two weeks or a little longer and that I didn’t think I was in rebound since my migraines seem to be worse according to the unpredictable nature of my hormones – perimenopause. He didn’t listen and I was charged a more than $500.00 office visit fee that I was going to have to pay in full – out of network. I was later able to complain and get the bill written off, but it didn’t do a lot of good for my self-esteem at the time. Hence the time I’m taking off!).
I wish you so much luck and relief, too. It is so good talking to you and I hope sharing my thoughts can really help someone.
Best to you,
Paula
At least we can share with each other and understand. The snickers from others as a form of dismissing our disease is the most hurtful.
Andrea,
It is true; for me, being dismissed from jobs, not being considered for a job (you can tell when they think you’d be a liability if they hired you…), and the silent snickers and silly questions just about kill me. My parents traveled constantly and I was shy anyway. The form of “being different” that migraine brings sealed my fate as a “weird kid”. I was bullied before bullying was an everday word and I think it’s my reason for being so thin-skinned in relation to this indescribably miserable disease. I need to work on letting the looks and comments just, “roll off”. I’m not there yet… I’m grateful for you guys – it’s so comforting to talk with others who just get it!
Thanks for your comment!!!